Thursday, July 8, 2010

Ten reasons why LeBron would come to Brooklyn
LeBron is not going to, but if he were at all leaning towards joining the soon to be New Jerseyless Nets, here are ten reasons why he might.

1. Susan Pollock (aka Su-Pol) offered LeBron his own tower at the New Domino site.

2. Joe Lentol and Steve Cohn are lobbying LeBron to coach their Seneca Club little league team after its embarrassing playoff defeat.

3. LeBron has always wanted to learn how to pickle his own cucumbers and he can take a pickling class at The Meat Hook.

4. Because LeBron will reveal himself as the author of Atlantic Yards Report and the entire thing will be revealed to have been a farce.

5. Vito Lopez needed LeBron's help with petitioning this week after Obama For America couldn't do it.

6. Did we mention that LeBron's favorite Peter Pan Donut flavor is coconut cream with extra cream with ice cream in the middle of it?

7. Because until New Domino gets built, he can always buy Magic Johnson's Viridian building.

8. Marty Markowitz has already offered to rename Bensonhurst LeBronsonhurst.

9. Because Brighton Beach is pretty much like South Beach but with fewer Russians.

10. Marty Markowitz and City Planning just threw in the other Domino tower, and it's going to go up to 40 stories.

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